On Turning Twenty-four

*Disclaimer – I realize that everyone over the age of 30 who reads this will be laughing riotously at me*

 

I’m officially in my mid-twenties. I’m a twenty-something.

Yes, I’m already thinking about adulthood (true adulthood, not young adulthood). As my disclaimer suggests, I am perfectly aware that this is irrational and stereotypical way of thinking about middle age. But I want to record how I feel at this point, so I can laugh/cringe at myself a few years from now.

I don’t plan on being a pathetic middle-aged man, but who Does? It just happens. You start buying clothes in various shades of taupe, start finding yourself much more sympathetic to ‘easy listening’ than earlier in your life, and all of a sudden find Two and Half Men remarkably knee-slapping.

It’s not that I’m radical or anything now. I have no delusions of prolonged piss and vinegar in my veins for the rest of my life, or fighting the status quo two which I most eagerly wish to be part of. I’d like to think I’m well enough beyond teenage externalisation of angst. I smolder on the inside, like a good grown-up.

It’s the loss of interest that terrifies me. Too many people seem to check any joie de vivre at some point, choosing to sit on their couch watching CSI and Survivor instead of anything remotely constructive, (or even not destructive). Fatigue and boredom are the enemies of passion.

I have things to do. I must have things to do. I want a rusty VW Squareback with a ragtop sunroof that Em and I take on weekend roadtrips to the beach in. I want to learn how to sail, maybe buy a dingy boat. I want to read The Republic, Montaigne’s essays, Infinite Jest, Remembrance of Things Past. I want to see Mont St. Michel, host memerable dinner parties, raise beautiful and intelligent and creative kids, collect rare… somethings. And keep them in polished walnut cabinets.

I want to be an adult, before I’m too much of an adult to care. At this point in my life, I feel a bit like I’m standing on a very small rock in the middle of a river just before a very large waterfall. The only way to go is downstream. But will I be alive after the fall?

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~ by miyagisan on March 12, 2011.

One Response to “On Turning Twenty-four”

  1. Spoken like a true March person. Turning 62 this year has truely felt amazing to me. Strenghth of mind and body seem to be the inner thoughts at this point. At this point there is nothing but to swimm and flow. I still look for bigger rocks and smoother water to carry me but, still love the moments of catching a huge wave. Life is purely thoughts put into motion so that being said, think clearly on what this purposeful life is and it will be. We truely only have this minute to manifest. What a great ride it has been and will continue to be. At this point what you see is what you get. Free at last Free at last.

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